Fragmented Memory
Illustration by Dana AlRashid (@caracaleyes).
I used to have a very good memory. Up until my early twenties, I could remember the whole lot of images that I have seen my entire life. Conversations were vivid, I could go back home and recap on all that’s been said and done. With all that memory storage that I had, I felt anchored. I could draw on all these memories and feel connected to all the people who were part of them, and in so, I was able to create. I had more focus and I felt present; like I really was there in the moment.
Now everything seems so fuzzy, everything is a blur. The lines between what happened yesterday, today and last week are mushy. Heck, I can’t even remember if I checked my email five minutes ago, so I check it now, then I check it again five minutes later. The phone has been eating away at my focus and memory, and I am sure I’m not the only one. I feel it even decreased my ability to fully digest experiences and let them ‘sink in’, for I can easily water down intensity by tuning into the latest story on my social media feed. So in some way or another, the phone is gradually desensitizing us.
A memory is a building block for the future. This is how rituals and traditions collectively came about. It is the echo of our ancestors and great, great ancestors, and the chain goes back up to the Source, I believe. So in a sense, a memory is sacred, and it is important to preserve its integrity and clarity as much as possible without the fogs of nostalgia and subjectivity clouding it. This may be extremely difficult though, for a memory of an event is too intertwined with the emotions felt during the time of its formation.
Regardless, I think that you can see why am I so worried now and think that this fragmentation of memory and thought is disastrous.
I remember a time with no phones. I remember a time with far less stimuli and more tranquility. I know it’s not fair to blame technology for our own misuse of it, and I know that in fact, many of you stumbled across this article via your phones. So there’s a lot of goodness that can come out of it. The question lies in our habits and usage, and why are we so addicted to it?
I think it’s probably some form of escapism and burying unresolved pains, but our lives won’t get any better without us being there to work on it. Maybe we feel isolated and in need of a connection, as is the case with many of us. But our need to connect will only be fulfilled by confronting our current situation and improving it; there is no escape.
Information is not knowledge. Streams of endless imagery, trivia, and tidbits of this and that do not create a wholesome body of knowledge, also known as lore; this is where the word Folklore comes from.
Knowledge, on the other hand, needs time to seep through and be fully digested, and for that process to happen, we literally need to sleep on it and close the tap of constant data feed.
This is how wisdom is born. It is the grounding of knowledge and the accumulation of experience, fine-tuned through introspection. Here, the role of memory is crucial. For if our memory is short, we can’t properly remember our experiences, we barely remember some of the information thrown at us, and so we wander aimlessly, confused, without the roots of memory to nourish us.
A life without memories, good and bad, is an arid one, indeed. So let us preserve and honor our memories through our daily habits and deeds. ◆
Dana is a writer and poet from Kuwait. She has a weekly column in Al Jarida newspaper (Arabic), as well as occasional articles in Kuwait Times newspaper in English. She has published a poetry book last year under the same name as her blog: “Reflecting Moon”. In her blog, more intimate poetry and content can be found. Contact Dana through: @caracaleyes on Instagram