I Know So Many Ways to Your House

Illustration by Delaney.

I know so many ways to your house

it never was 

quite home, 

but enough

an escape 

a few years

now contains

only you 

who gallant 

named 

us lovers

now, bored, 

of waiting 

of bodies 

familiar

call another 

distressed at comfort 

uncaring of hair 

and spots and 

lines and marks

stretching a life 

so distant, far

you don’t care 

to know

anything 

about another

but I’m touch 

starved, like 

stray cats

street dogs

ramadan sundowns

the new lovers

have each other 

I’m not on the cards

deck dealt without, 

shuffled about

reduced to

oxytocin fiend

missing warmth 

of a body 

next to mine 

feeling young 

for needing bodies, 

but not that person

that person…  

I am glad without

that house, tho 

unbeautiful 

so empty cold 

that shatter glass

sterility, blue lights 

made everything blur

hazed a way

amidst the high

high smoke

to my body

called me lover

so I forgave

so they took

more, touched

more, soft 

broken mattress

broke back knees

neck, no tub

to soak hurts

to gather moments

stood witness

before showerhead

wash washing away

when touch

was too much

miss missing

that recoil 

allah

from too much

touching

so desperate

I’d flee

to desert city

to barren 

harsh hot

just for a touch, 

just, for a moment, 

to be 

the broken lover

again. ◆

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